The Wightway Code

I recently drove in London, where nobody lets you out, cars are in a rush and it's every driver for themselves. I realised how different an experience it is to drive on the Isle of Wight. I thought it was my duty as a resident to inform any would-be visitors who are planning to drive on our picturesque Island of a lesser-known appendix of the Highway Code, which only applies here, called The Wightway Code*:

The Wightway Code Appendix

General rules, techniques and advice for all drivers and riders

Signals

Signals distract other road users, including pedestrians, from your intended actions. You should always

  • just smile and wave and let other drivers out of junctions to keep traffic flowing.

Using the road

Before moving off you should

  • check for red squirrels on your roof.

Once moving you should

  • keep to the left, unless other vehicles are approaching on your side of the road having taken evasive action to avoid potholes on the right. The exceptions are when you want to pass potholes on the left, or to overtake a red squirrel.

Before overtaking you should make sure

  • you are not on the floating bridge.
  • you are not about to drive onto a ferry.
  • ...actually just chill, don’t worry about overtaking, you’re on Isle of Wight time now, take it easy, be cool, have a cream tea.

Being overtaken. It mostly doesn’t happen as there aren’t many roads where you can go fast enough or are free of potholes.

Turning right

  • don't bother, it’s just too complex a situation and keep driving straight on. There’s not many roads and you’ll eventually end up on the other side where you can safely turn left.

Roundabouts

When reaching the roundabout you should

  • give priority to traffic approaching from your right – and left – even if directed otherwise by signs, road markings or traffic lights.
  • wait, keep waiting, wait somewhen.
  • only go when you are directed to by a friendly wave from another driver or if no other drivers are watching you.

Remember: Give way to the right, EXCEPT on Isle of Wight.

Motorways

We don’t have those. What are they?

Rules for motorcyclists

Only mods are allowed to ride scooters.

*DISCLAIMER: The Wightway Code does not exist and all advice given in this blog post should be ignored and never read again. The views and opinions expressed in this post do not represent the views of any human who has ever existed nor will ever exist in this time, another time or any possible parallel alternative worlds. Terms and conditions do not exist. Batteries not included. Blog not to scale. Other blogs are available. Welcome to the Isle of Wight – we hope you’re gonna feel alright. Please drive safely.

Philip Bell Author Photo by Chris Cowley

24 April 2016

By Philip Bell in The locals' blogs

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